


heartfelt

by Syndcates



Category: Mianite - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, God!Jordan, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Realm of Mianite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29191383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syndcates/pseuds/Syndcates
Summary: jordan is a god. tom is his champion. things go wrong.
Relationships: Tom Cassell & Jordan Maron
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	heartfelt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fearthefuzzybear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fearthefuzzybear/gifts).



the world aches, bleeding purple-black as a human fades into the void.

-

tom coughed wetly, his hands stained red, still feebly pressing over the wound in his stomach. he tilted his head back, mouth tasting of copper and ash. there was a familiar whoosh of air and tom forced his eyes open.

"my lord," he gasped out as xianite dropped to his knees beside tom, hands pressing against the wound. xianite looked ragged, his hands shaking ever so slightly as they pulled tom towards him. xianite was... _afraid_ . his lord's magic was cool and gentle, but the pain was only growing and his vision was starting to get hazy. "my lord- _xianite_ ," he stammered out, one of his bloodstained hands reaching up to grab at xianite's forearm, leaving behind a bloody handprint.

"tom-" xianite froze as tom smiled, teeth bloody, feeling his life draining away with every passing moment. the connection between them was fraying quicker than he could heal, and xianite felt his blood turn cold. " _no_." he snarled, forcing more of his energy into tom's body. "i’m not letting you die, tom." he promised, watching as tom's eyes fluttered, his face pale.

"i know-" tom coughed up another mouthful of blood, feeling something warm trickling out of the corner of his mouth. "-you won’t. xi," he patted xianite's arm, the world beginning to go dark. "make sure- that da... that he knows i-"

-

the god reaches into his chest and _pulls_.

-

something warm and pulsating and _alive_ is being pressed to his chest. he gags on the excess magic, blood bubbling up and into his mouth, vision dark. it hurts so damn bad and he can feel the cold starting to set in.

“no, no no no - don’t you _dare_ asshole,” it sounds as if they’re underwater, and his ears are ringing and there’s _painpainpain_ -

and then everything goes still and cold.

-

something in the world breaks. 

-

he’s cold. he's so, _so_ cold.

he's been floating in the cold for so long. been alone for so long. at least the pain has gone, now. before, when he still had a grip on what made him _him_ , he had fought to breathe. fought to keep his heart beating.

at least he didn't need to worry about that anymore.

distantly, he hears something... odd. it sounds like a voice, pleading and sobbing wordlessly, although the feeling strikes him to the core. did anyone do that for him, he wonders?

maybe they did. maybe they didn't. it doesn't matter now, he muses. that time has long past for him. this is his reality. it certainly better than what some had spoken of _before_. 

his hands are tingling. isn't that strange? his feet are too, and he can't help the jaded amusement from rising in his chest. its been _so long_ since he's been able to feel his hands, feel his feet. it's sort of nice, to remember that one has a body.

warmth spreads across his chest, and that's the first sign that somethings wrong. besides the tingling, of course. he feels something tug in his chest, at first hesitantly, but then growing stronger.

its as if he is pulled through water, breaching the surface and getting a needed breath of fresh air. he shivers, the warmth spreading, blood beginning to flow again. heart beginning to beat, lungs expanding as he breathes for the first time in what feels like a millennium.

things... start to come back. he remembers a man and young woman - his _father_ , his _sister_ \- looking at him proudly. people from his village, the scent of freshly baked bread, the feeling of rain against his skin. fields of beautiful purple and yellow flowers, laughter ringing through the air. a man, humour dancing in his eyes, kneeling before him, speaking his name like a prayer. his _lord_ he remembers with sudden clarity. _Xianite, how could he have forgotten Xianite?_

 _tom_ , he hears a whisper in the back of his head. _it's time to wake up._

he tries to agree with the feeling but he can’t, and there’s a flurry of feelings all at once. he's alive, he's _alive_ . he had _died_. he had forgotten-

tom had forgotten _everything_.

"thank you," he croaks out, voice weak from underuse, and there’s a hand petting at his head gently. he can’t yet open his eyes, but he smiles in relief and feels his eyes sting with tears. the person shushes him as one would with an upset child, but tom finds himself not caring.

"i’m sorry about this, champion," the voice is clearer now that's he’s left the void, distinctly male with an undercurrent of fire and something _dark_ . and tom feels them place a hand on his forehead, the touch warming his freezing skin. tom smiles as the man - _someone he had known, why couldn’t he remember him?_ \- draws a shape on tom’s forehead, murmuring under his breath. he’s _alive_ again. he’s free from this prison, he’s free from the cold and dark and _nothing_. his father and sister must be so worried, xianite too. oh gods, xianite would be angry with him, maybe there was something he could do to -

and then things are being torn from him.

tom screams as his family - his _sister_ , his _father_ are torn from him. their faces become clouded until their whole bodies, whole memories, have disappeared from his head. his _home_ , the village and the feelings are ripped from his head quickly, leaving behind only the faintest sense of longing. tom sobs, trying to keep his lord's memories intact, but he is too _weak_ , too _fragile_.

"please," he sobs, mind whirling in confusion. "please don’t i-" and then his name is taken from him, and he knows no more.

-

two souls, destined to be together, are torn apart.

-

warmth spreads across his chest, and that's the first sign that somethings wrong. he’s been floating for so long, but now there is sensation.

he forces his eyes open, ignoring the way they throb in favour of pushing himself up, black dots dancing in his vision. where is he?

.... who is he?

he gets to his feet, slipping slightly in the sand. it’s… a beach?

waves lap up against the sand, soothing background noise as he looks around him. its... surprisingly empty. the beach stretches on for what looks like forever, and ahead of him the sand turns into a gassy hill, mountains looming in the distance.

he’s alone.

the feeling leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, and he shakes his head in an attempt to rid himself of the though. no, he can’t focus on that right now. he needs to focus on survival, shelter. he can think about how bleak his situation looks later.

-

somewhere, a god sobs at the loss.

-

tom doesn’t understand, sometimes, why exactly dianite chose him as his champion. he isn’t _made_ to be dianite's champion like tucker is for mianite. he questions, he interrupts, he's quick to anger, he's a sloppy fighter. he's everything that dianite _doesn't_ want as a champion, and yet somehow dianite still chose him. (ignoring the fact that it was never really a choice, after all.)

maybe that's why he's so relieved when jordan shows up.

tom meets jordan on a perfectly normal day, the sun beating down on his shoulders as he climbs the sand dune that lays before the beach. he sees the stranger laying there - face down and probably unconscious, like so many of them were. tom has fond memories of waking up to tucker screaming about his skin.

but jordan? jordan is different.

tom doesn't understand, sometimes, why exactly dianite chose him as his champion. he's not made to be dianite's champion like tucker is for mianite. he questions, he interrupts, he's quick to anger, he's a sloppy fighter. he's everything that dianite doesn't want as a champion, and yet somehow dianite still chose him. (ignoring the fact that it was never really a choice, after all.)

maybe that's why he's so relieved when jordan shows up.

tom meets jordan on a perfectly normal day, the sun beating down on his shoulders as he climbs the sand dune that lays before the beach. he sees the stranger laying there - face down and probably unconscious, like so many of them were. tom has fond memories of waking up to tucker screaming about his skin.

but jordan? jordan is different.

there's _something_ in his eyes that makes tom pause, but he blinks back to the present and offers his hand and a warm smile. jordan looks like he's seen a ghost, but tom gets that a lot, with the whole zombie thing. he doesn't judge jordan for being a bit scared of him, even though it hurts a little. he can't _help_ that he's a zombie! 

tom grasps jordan's hand, and tom feels a spark at the contact. he swallows, trying to fight the flush building in his cheeks. jordan smiles, but his eyes are sad and he looks at tom sadly when he thinks tom isn’t looking.

weird. but not the weirdest thing toms ever seen.

he claps jordan on the shoulder, politely ignoring the way jordan closes his eyes at the contact. jordan takes in the buildings with a look of astonishment. tom already likes jordan, but this just solidifies it for him. maybe he can be a dianitee with him?

maybe he can take his place as dianite's champion. tom _knows_ he doesn't deserve it. maybe jordan will be better suited for the role than he is.

(this turns out to be a mistake.)

-

a bond thousands of years in the making snaps.

-

so jordan's an ianitee. whatever that means.

(toms not upset he's not it's good actually that jordan's making his own path even if it puts him in harms way it's fine it's fine-)

it's not fine.

he's not angry. he's not _feeling_ anything, and that scares him. more than waking up as a zombie ever did. well, he does feel something.

every time he sees jordan with tucker and sonja there’s a pang of _something_ in his chest that aches and aches for days. he can almost imagine how dianite would react to that. _what, are you jealous, thomas?_ he can hear dianite's laughter ringing in his head and decides not to focus on that anymore. it doesn't help that being around jordan fills him with this - feeling of _peace_ and _yes, this is right_ that leaves him giddy for days.

tom doesn't understand why he's feeling this way. a crush would be different - and _yes_ , jordan is handsome - but tom doesn't think that this is a crush. no, this is... something else entirely.

it’s similar to being near the priest, actually. dec feels so strangely familiar that it hurts sometimes, and tom wonders _why._

why does he feel like there’s a part of him that's missing?

-

in the distance, a god screams.

-

tom doesn't _hate_ being dianite's champion though. it's perfectly fine, being dianite's champion. _it just doesn't fit._ tucker and sonja had laughed at him when he had confided in them about it.

"you're the most chaotic person we know!" tucker had said. "how can you _not_ be his champion?" tom had taken the words with a laugh, his chest hurting. _he wasn’t right_ , he had wanted to scream at them. _nothing about this was right why can't you see-_

but he couldn't blame them for not believing in him. gods, he hardly believes in _himself_.

-

somewhere, a god and a father shed the same tears.

-

everything is wrong. everything is wrong and bad and tom can hardly understand what’s happening anymore. they were so close - they had collected four keys, looking for the fifth, only to find out that dianite had it the whole time. that dianite had _known_ tom was a traitor the whole time.

(that dianite was so dismissive of him, casting him to the side without argument, a gesture of ‘you do not matter’. it had _hurt_ . it had hurt a _lot_.)

but tom couldn’t focus on that now. not when he had just narrowly dodged a fireball from dianite, just barely ducking in time. he had to focus, lest he and his friends be burnt to a crisp. ducking behind one of the pillars, tom tossed his scorched sword to the ground. it would do none of them any good, not when the god could best them in terms of brute strength. he glanced around the pillar, hands shaking slightly.

jordan had locked blades with dianite, a furious snarl on his face, tucker and sonja attempting to flank from the other side of the arena. somehow, tom noted with a hit of disbelief, jordan was holding his own against dianite, not buckling under the weight of dianite’s blade just yet. he locked eyes with jordan, and for a moment, tom swore he saw a flash of gold in jordan’s eyes. tom blinked, and jordan’s eyes had returned to the same bright blue as always, looking more frantic than before. 

shit, the fight. tom really needed to pay attention to things.

tom reached over his shoulder to grab his bow, feeling the enchantments etched into the wood of the bow. a gift from jordan, his brain unhelpfully reminded him. tom swallowed back his urge to throw up and rounded the pillar once more, sending an arrow flying past dianite’s head. he might not be as good with a bow as jordan is, but he could cause a distraction.

the arrow had the intended effect. dianite’s head whips towards him, eyes aflame with anger. the arrow has distracted dianite, but now dianite’s focused on _him_. shit.

tom just barely dodges dianite’s sword, stumbling backwards as the god strides towards him, diamond blade white hot. he hears jordan’s frantic cry of his name, tucker’s shout as they run towards dianite, too late _they won’t get to him in time-_

tom’s arms raised to protect himself, but dianite moved quicker than he did.

the blade swept down the side of his face, cutting a burning line from his temple to his cheek. his arms didn’t raise quick enough and the blade just narrowly missed his armour, driving into the meat of his shoulder instead. tom hissed at the pain, the blade hitting his gauntlets and sending up sparks, the force of the blow sending him stumbling back until he tripped over his own feet. he scrambled backwards on his hands and knees, blood trickling down the side of his head and into his eye. blinking the blood away, tom flinched as tucker and sonja all but tackled dianite away from him, raising their swords to shield him from harm. tom pressed a hand to to his head as jordan rushed to his side, carefully cupping tom’s face in his hands, eyes filled with worry. tucker and sonja advanced towards dianite, forcing the god back as jordan shoved a healing potion into tom’s hands. his hands are shaking too much to pull the cork out, so jordan has to, a hand cupping the back of tom’s neck tenderly as he helps guide the neck of the bottle to tom’s mouth.

tom grimaces at the overly-sweet taste of the healing potion, the thick liquid sticking to the sides and roof of his mouth as he swallows, once, twice, mouth filled with the medicinal aftertaste of the potion. he coughed as warmth traveled down his throat and settled in his chest, the wound on his shoulder tingling as the skin and muscle started to stitch back together with a painful slowness. jordan’s had tightened around the nape of tom’s neck, and tom gritted his teeth as his shoulder pulled itself together quicker than he had expected. tom glanced at jordan, confused, but jordan only shot him a pained smile.

“new recipe,” jordan said by way of explanation, hand sliding from tom’s neck to between his shoulder blades as he helped tom stand. “works quicker but doesn’t last as long. you alright, tom?” 

“yeah,” tom said distractedly, hand pressing over the new skin gently. “i’m fine. let’s just-” tom pulled an arrow from his quiver, wincing as the movement agitated his wound. “let’s just get this over with.”

jordan opens his mouth like he wants to protest, worried eyes locked on to tom’s face, but tom just jerks his head towards where tucker and sonja are holding their ground. barely. 

the first arrow he fires flies wide, and tom curses under his breath as jordan rushes to join the fray, darting around dianite to swipe at the god’s side, snarling back at dianite, his eyes narrowed and angry. the second just barely missed dianite’s arm, flying off of the arena entirely. tom swallowed, gripping tightly at the bow between his fingers, carved enchantments digging into his palms. he could do this. for jordan. for ianite.

tom takes a breath and starts again.

his arrows go wide more often than not, partially due to the way his shoulder twinges with every movement, an ever-present ache that builds and builds. sweat mixes with the blood still on his forehead, his heart pounding in his chest. one of his arrows glanced off of jordan’s armour, and tom shook his head, trying to focus himself. he couldn’t let his mind drift, not when there was so much for him to _loose_.

tom plucked another arrow from his quiver, tensing slightly as he felt how few arrows he had left. he had to make these last one’s count. _he had to._ locking eyes with jordan from across the arena, tom felt a small surge of optimism. he could at the least distract dianite again, have his friends take him down from behind. jordan’s blade locked with dianite’s, and tom watched as jordan grimaced, jaw locking as he attempted to prevent dianite form moving any further. dianite huffed and bore down on jordan’s blade with what seemed like all of his weight.

nocking the arrow, tom slowed his breathing, focusing on dianite. the arrow slipped through his fingers, heart pounding in his ears as the world slows down, centering on the arrow heading straight for dianite. for his own _god_. the arrow struck dianite’s chest, and tom thinks he might be sick.

dianite looked at tom, eyes wide with fury and desperation, as the arrow pierced through his chest and hitting the god’s heart. there was a heartbeat of stillness, tom trapped in a vacuum as dianite’s eyes cleared of shadows, fury giving way to gratitude as dianite fell, body disappearing into ash. tom stared in shock, numb to the world around him.

and then he felt the bond between him and dianite snap, and tom’s world was engulfed in pain.

-

a god bleeds, black ichor mixing with red blood on the stone.

-

tom came too an unidentifiable amount of time later. his chest ached, mouth filled with the iron taste of blood. someone was stroking his hair, his limbs heavy and unresponsive to his attempts to move them. hushed voices spoke above him, and tom felt someone gently grasp his chin, his head being tilted up as the head of a bottle pressed against his mouth. the familiar sweet, fruity taste of a healing potion mixed with the blood, and tom choked, his eyes fluttering open as the ache in his chest lessened.

sonja was sitting beside tom, kneeling on the stone with a half-empty potion bottle in her hand, tucker pacing near his feet. jordan was supporting his head and neck, and upon seeing that tom was awake jordan inhaled sharply.

“tom?” jordan’s voice trembled slightly, and one of jordan’s hands shifted to cup his face gently. “are you alright?”

“ _ow,_ ” tom hissed between his teeth, blood leaking from the corner of his mouth. “that fuckin’ hurt,” he heard tucker’s near-hysterical laugh, sonja’s quiet huff, jordan breathing a sigh of relief. there was a strange warmth in his body, flowing through his veins and making his hands tingle. a side effect of whatever _that_ was, tom figured.

“oh good, you’re fine,” sonja teased with a smile, her eyes shiny with tears. tom attempted a grin, groaning slightly as jordan helped him sit up, sonja and jordan both grabbing onto him to keep him from falling over. sonja gently grasped at tom’s shoulder as he swallowed the rest of the potion, jordan’s hand rubbing at the space between his shoulder blades. tom coughed, still feeling weak, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“what _was_ that?” tucker said after a moment, looking at tom concernedly. tom frowned, rubbing his chest as the last of the pain faded away into a slight sting.

“i-i’m not sure,” tom began, leaning into jordan’s hand slightly, “when i shot him i felt my bond-” tom grimaced “-my bond broke,” he said softly, staring down at his lap. tucker went stiff as tom spoke, sonja inhaling sharply as jordan frowned.

“do you think it was because you-” tucker grimaced, clearly not wanting to say it, “-because you, uh,”

“because i killed him?” tom swallowed past the blossoming pain in his chest, “yeah. yeah i think so.” the group went silent for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts. there was the distant sound of the trees swaying in the wind, the eerie emptiness of the void permeating the atmosphere. the world felt – different. changed. everything they had been working for was completed. dianite had been defeated, ianite saved. balance restored. and yet...

tom didn’t feel like things had been fixed. there was a growing dread in his stomach, a sense of unease. like something greater was happening, and they had just become a part of it. like they were being watched. he gritted his teeth, trying to calm himself with deep breaths. they were fine. no one was watching them. they were doing good, they were fixing things. they had to be.

“ianite told me uh,” jordan scratched at the back of his head awkwardly, breaking the silence “something about uhm, a god’s physical form? and that killing dianite would probably uh, break tom’s bond but i didn’t-” jordan looked upset at himself, and tom wanted nothing more than to pull jordan into his arms and tell him that it was alright. “i didn’t think we would _kill_ him,” jordan said softly. tom huffed, a self-deprecating smile curling onto his face.

“yeah, me neither,” tom muttered, gathering his strength so he could push himself up onto his hands and knees. jordan and sonja followed him, ready to catch him if he lost his balance, but tom waved them away, standing slightly unsteadily on his feet. “i’m fine let’s just,” tom took a few staggering steps forwards, “let’s just go, okay?” no one looked convinced, but sonja left his side to walk by tucker, jordan walking a step behind tom. they walked in silence for a few minutes, leaving the arena and moving towards the temple and leaving tom alone with his thoughts. he had just killed his god. fuck, what had he done?

they travelled back though the winding tunnels carved into endstone silently. tom was still thinking about what he had done. because while it was jordan’s goddess they were attempting to rescue, _tom_ had been the one to fire the shot that killed dianite. that had killed his own god. as if sensing his inner turmoil, jordan placed a gentle hand on tom’s shoulder, pulling him to a stop.

“you guys go ahead,” jordan called to tucker and sonja, squeezing tom’s shoulder, “just something private i need to talk to tom about.” 

“oooh~ i see,” tucker wiggled his eyebrows, sonja attempting to hide her grin. “i guess we’ll leave you two lovebirds alone,” jordan huffed, rolling his eyes as tucker winked, sonja tugging him further up the path, the pair disappearing around a corner. jordan waited for a moment before turning to tom with a tired smile.

“sorry,” jordan said apologetically, leaning against the endstone wall.

“it’s fine,” tom replied automatically, crossing his arms awkwardly across his chest. “what uh, what did you wanna talk about?” he shifted his weight from one foot to another, unable to look jordan in the eyes.

“you know you can talk to me, right tom?” jordan began, mimicking tom’s posture. “about anything, really.”

“yeah, i know,” tom rubbed his arms, exhaustion settling over him, “i know i can, jordan.”

“alright,” jordan said softly, forehead creasing with concern as his eyes met tom’s. “did you… want to talk about what happened?” tom grimaced, closing his eyes for a moment. _did_ he want to talk about it? about killing his god, about betraying one of the most powerful beings in the world? 

“yes,” tom’s mouth moved before his brain caught up. “i-i do,” he groaned, rubbing his hands down his face. “just… not right now?” tom pressed his eyes into the palms of his hands, willing himself to draw up just a little bit more energy. they were so close. _jordan_ was so close. he could - no, he _would_ see this through to the end.

“that’s fine, tom,” jordan’s voice was tinged with relief, and he shifted off of the wall to move closer to tom. taking a deep breath in, tom allowed himself to relax, allowed his mind to turn over what he would tell jordan.

“when we get back home,” tom settled on, “i think i can - maybe,” he let out an annoyed groan. “sorry, sorry.” glancing upwards, tom caught just the barest hint of gold in jordan’s eyes, mixing with the concern. “sorry i’m - not really used to uh,” tom flushed slightly, watching as jordan’s mouth quirked with amusement, “this sort of thing.”

“tom, it’s fine. really.” he said with a small smile. “when we get home,” jordan agreed, squeezing tom’s forearm as tom found himself smiling slightly, “we’ll talk?” tom nodded, watching as jordan relaxed slightly in relief.

“when we get home,” tom said, “yeah. we will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuuuuh like comment subscribe gamers


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